South of Sunnyside

I’m not sure if it’s coincidence, or if it’s spurred by the addition of a phone line at the house, but the telemarketers and autodialers must have us on speed dial. It’s getting out of hand, and the Do Not Call Registry seems to hold little weight.

The most frequent, and subsequently, the most annoying, are calls that reference the warranty for our cars.

Sure, I realize we’re not the only getting these calls, and I’m probably only making things worse, but I decided to follow through on one:

[Automated prompt to stay on the line for extended warranty coverage; male voice picks up]
Him: Hello?
Me: Hello.
Him: How can I help you?
Me: Um, you called me…
Him: Oh, yes sir. Are you calling about the warranty on your automobile?
Me: Uh, sure.
Him: Okay, well I’ll need to collect some information. Can you tell me the make and model of your car? I’ll also need your social security number so that I can verify your information.
Me: Right. Well, before I give you that, can you tell me again who I’m speaking with?
Him: This is [I can't remember the name].
Me: And the name of the company again? Also, my connection is bad—can you let me know what number I can reach you at should our connection drop?
[Click. Silence.]

And this is why I’m calling for a ban on telemarketing. (Get it?)

A couple of weeks ago, I received a submission from the contact form at JRCollier.com:

Name Jack Walker
Email Jackwalker.001@gmail.com
Website http://www.google.com
Message We would like to get your website on first page of Google.
All of our processes use the most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization techniques that will not get your website banned or penalized.
Please reply and I would be happy to send you a proposal.

Now, I’m a trusting person, and I guess I’m naive to the workings of this “internet” thing, so I politely replied:

Hi Jack,
Thanks for contacting me. I’m interested in seeing what you propose.
You listed your website as “Google” – do you work for Google? Will your proposal include a more targeted website that lists some of the others you’ve helped with “white hat” services?
Kind regards,
James

Surprisingly, Jack hasn’t gotten back to me. I hope this isn’t standard practice.

While I tend to have a little fun with things like this, it did remind me of other letters and communications I’ve sent out. And how they usually don’t generate responses—Danil Monteleone never got back to me, and the Sunnyside Property Owners Association have yet to give me a reason to join (though they sent a generic solitication letter).

Perhaps it was something I said?

Some days are just greater than others. Like holidays with little meaning but lots of alcohol. Or birthdays—unless it’s your 18th birthday, and your father tells you you’re now old enough to move out. Anyway, it’s these greater days that we’ll remember when we’re older (or so I can hope).

Today was a great day. Not only was it Friday, but it rained in Fresno, which is a significant event. And it’s the first day of May, which means we’re in the full glory of spring.

But wait, there’s more. Sure, these really only pertain to me, but by reading them you can vicariously share in my glee:

A new set of keys

Today I received the keys to my new office. Okay, it’s not really my office, but the guys at Hundred 10 are gracious enough to let me share in their space and leech off of their creative juices.

A new set of keyboards

It’s really only one keyboard, but you can see what I was going for (playing off the last item and all). Related to business, and the fact that I’ll now be moving my primary computer to the office, I ordered my first Mac laptop. No need to get into specifics, but rest assured it will be magnificent, and I will take pictures. I may even use it for blogging…

A deposit slip

More significant than either of these is the fact that I received a paycheck today. Granted, I wrote it, but it’s my first from this new venture, and it’s confirmation that I wasn’t completely crazy to make take the plunge.

A script

Enough business talk. I was flattered to receive an invitation from a fellow creative, blogger and entrepreneurial advisor; he’s competing once again in the Fresno Swede Festival coming up on May 9, and invited a few…um, actors?…to read a script for his parody of The Office. All other details are strictly confidential. As in, he wouldn’t share them.

So, there it is. I neglect writing and blogging, only to come back and brag. So, I now invite you, dear readers, to share the highlights of your day (by posting a comment, in case that wasn’t clear).

Oh, and while you’re at it, why not fill out a quick survey to share your perceptions of Fresno? (Yeah, I know, my segues seem to be a bit rusty.)