South of Sunnyside

Because if they’re ringing my doorbell, I’m not home. The lights are off, and the dogs will bark profusely at any sign of motion outside.

Sure, I bought a bag of candy—on my way to sit at Starbucks. It’s all mine. And for some reason, my stomach kind of hurts.

Anyway, I’m not a big fan of Halloween. In particular, I don’t care for the endless supply of “scary” movies that has taken over my TV over the last week, and I don’t like that persistent expectation that I should provide sweets to a crop of kids I’ve never met. Maybe I’ll feel a bit different when it’s my kid in all that makeup.

To all the parents of kids in a Joker costume: I do hope that’s based on commercials, and that you didn’t actually take your child to see The Black Knight.

A few months ago I fell for a scam, and was harassed in my living room for more than half an hour by a salesman peddling an overpriced vacuum. I won’t go into the details again, but after kicking the guy out, I realized I had no trail back to the offending agency—I didn’t write down a phone number or address, and he (conveniently) didn’t have a business card or any materials he could leave. Oh, how I’ve wished they would call back.

Tonight, as if none of this ever happened, I received another 30-second survey from “Valley Research.” I answered the same questions as before, and was once again offered a “gift” for my participation. I expect another call by the end of the week, asking about the best time to deliver (and offer a “brief product demonstration”).

It’s possible that call won’t come, but if it does, I want to be prepared—thus, I’m looking for input. I need ideas for ways to have a little fun with the sales guy (safe, non-litigious fun, that is). Please? Pretty please?

I’m not sure what year they’re looking at, but the crew that is scheduled to work on Butler Avenue, east of Peach, might want to check their calendar. And yes, in case you’re wondering, the two messages that rotated in before these dates read top to bottom.

This was only up for a couple of days…they eventually changed it to 10/27-10/29, so I may be posting with an update on the work (I’m not sure what’s going on).

It feels good to get away every once in a while.

Last week I was able to get out of Fresno for a couple of days, and away from the stress of work, the neighborhood, and the seemingly endless line of dogs that keep finding their way (via Kim’s truck) into our yard. Yep, I left all of my stress behind. Nothing stressful about flying, or visiting family, or weddings (especially when your aunt is re-marrying the husband that once cheated on her).

Below are highlights of trip.

Good: My seat on the first leg of my flight was next to the only empty seat on the plane.
Bad: I can’t fit in a single seat (I’m too tall, that is), and having an empty seat next to me only offers more space to contort in.

Good: The hotel shuttle driver knew a shortcut around the traffic jam on the freeway.
Bad: That traffic jam was the reason I sat at the airport waiting for him…for almost an hour.

Good: Outside, the weather was cool and clear, with low humidity for most of the weekend.
Bad: Inside, it smelled like stale cigarette smoke. Everywhere. And some places were quite moldy.

Good: The food. Oh, the food…
Bad: I’m trying to diet.

Good: It’s legal to transport a frozen daiquiri from the local store (some are drive-through), as long as there’s tape over the hole designated for a straw.
Bad: A daiquiri in a Styrofoam cup spills easily, and doesn’t smell very nice the next day. Especially when it’s mixed with the dog poop that someone tracked into the car.

Good: My aunt had a TV at the wedding, so that the men could watch the LSU game.
Bad: LSU got spanked, so all the men were in a foul mood.

Good: My grandmother danced like it was her daughter’s first wedding.
Bad: She wanted to dance with me (and I don’t dance—ever).

Good: The police in DFW have Segways.
Bad: TSA said my toothepaste container was “too large to confirm,” though there was only two ounces left in it. I guess that’s not bad, in the sense that they’re concerned about safety, but it’s annoying.